Fantasy Football: NFL Team-By-Team Haikus

Fantasy Football: NFL Team-By-Team Haikus

By Muntradamus


This article will recap team-by-team what I think will happen in the 2012 season.  In a poetic straight to the point Haiku.  Not really in perfect Haiku format so don’t be one of those guys.

Fantasy Football



Fred Jackson will make C.J. Spiller seem irrelevant as long as he is healthy.
Steve Johnson is still the primary target on this team.
The Bills defense has top 10 potential.


Ryan Tannehill has a hot wife. He is not fantasy relevant.
Reggie Bush is the only talented player on the offense.
The Dolphins do not have a #1 WR, Bess is the best guess. Someone else could sign.
The Dolphins defense is weak.


Stevan Ridley won the RB job.  Not guaranteed to keep it all season.
Tom Brady will throw for 5,000 Yards and 50 TDs.
Aaron Hernandez may be the #1 option in the Patriots passing game.
Brandon Lloyd should have a good season..
but he does have the smallest fraction of Ochocinco Bust hidden in him. Very small.
Patriots D is improved, but still in the bottom half.


Tebow will be the starting QB sooner than later.
Bilal Powell will eat into Shonn Greene’s PT all season.
Santonio Holmes is way undervalued heading into this season.
Jets defense looks energized.


Ben Tate is ready to dominate if his opportunity comes.
Owen Daniels is over valued as the Texans have more passing options that we think at TE.
Andre Johnson still a bit injury prone, but still a BEAST when healthy.
Matt Schaub looks good.
Defense will be a top 5 option.


Andrew Luck will have a solid rookie season.
Reggie Wayne is definitely the #1 WR on the team.
Coby Fleener will not be the only TE on the field.
Donald Brown is no lock to keep his RB job this season.
Colts D may not be as bad as last year, but still pretty bad.


Blaine Gabbert appears to be improved.
Justin Blackmon has top 20 Potential at the WR position.
Maurice Jones-Drew not only has CJ1.2K bust in him, he was way undervalued in all drafts..
Going in the 3rd round.
Jaguars defense will have an occasional good game. But a lot of bad ones.


Jake Locker will move the Titans down the field.
Nate Washington is the #1 WR this season. Then be semi-inconsistent with Britt.
Chris Johnson should find a lot of room to run.
Titans defense will be soft without Cortland Finnegan.


Trent Richardson will be playing for the worst team in the NFL.
The Browns suck. Worst team in the NFL.
Greg Little will not be the #1 WR on this team all season long unless he makes huge strides.
Defense will get murdered.


Antonio Brown will be the #1 WR this season, even when Wallace returns.
Isaac Redman did not win the RB spot outright.  We will see a few people get the nod throughout the season.
Emmanuel Sanders will emerge as a possible WR#3 this season.
Big Ben is being undervalued as the Steelers will be throwing a lot.
Steelers D is getting older but still dominant.


Ray Rice will be the Ravens offense.
Torrey Smith is being overvalued as Anquan Boldin is still relevant.
Ravens Defense is overrated this season. No corners.
Joe Flacco is overrated. No consistency.


Benjarvus Green-Ellis has the RB job.  For now.
Jermaine Gresham will be doing a lot of blocking.
A.J. Green will be facing plenty of double teams.
Bengals D is good, but better in the right matchup.
Andy Dalton is a bad own.


Ryan Matthews is no guarntee to stay healthy this season coming back from a bad collarbone injury.
Antonio Gates is healthy and the #1 option in the Chargers passing game.
Robert Meachem has BUST written all over him this season as he is pegged as a sleeper by others.
Malcolm Floyd has the potential to get 1,000 Yards with ease.
Chargers defense is as soft as a pillow.


Willis McGahee will not play 3rd downs.
Erick Decker appears to be the #1 WR.
Peyton Manning looks sharp, let’s see how many blindside hits he can take.
Denver D has good potential to be top 15.


Darren McFadden will be the Raiders offense.
Carson Palmer is about as hit or miss as it comes this season.
No WR has claimed the #1 spot consistently every week.
Oakland D has injured a player in every preseason game.


Jamaal Charles and Peyton Hillis will be splitting a lot of time.  Hillis will also get goal line TDs.
Dwayne Bowe has a lot of catching up to do, will be fine.
Chiefs defense will be good when everyone is healthy.


Michael Vick is as injury prone as ever heading into this season.
Nick Foles will be a great option if Vick goes down.
Desean Jackson will put his BUST season behind him.
McCoy will be McCoy.
Eagles Defense is the sleeper for #1 overall.


Demarco Murray is the man in the Dallas backfield this season.
Tony Romo looks to be in mid-season form.
Miles Austin, Dez Bryant, Jason Witten all have injury concerns heading into the season…
All should be fine.
Dallas D will be fierce.  Prone to giving up big plays.


Victor Cruz will continue his dominance and become the #1 WR outright on the Giants.
David Wilson will eat Ahmad Bradshaw’s production this season.
Eli Manning will be top 10, Hakeem Nicks will be top 15, at their positions.
NYG Defense has their D-Line all healthy.


RGIII will be an exciting fantasy option.
The RB situation is one to avoid, Roy Helu is my pick for the long haul. Alfred Morris could be Week #1.
Pierre Garcon is the #1 WR in the offense.
Fred Davis will be solid now that Chris Cooley has been released.
Redskins Defense should be improved. Good Waiver Wire play.


Adrian Peterson will be scary to own all season.
Percy Harvin will be a major part of the offense.
Kyle Rudolph should be most improved TE.
Christian Ponder has some nice upside to reach the #20 best fantasy QB.
Jared Allen is a superstar. That is all you can say about Vikings D.


Cedric Benson will not play 3rd downs.
Aaron Rodgers has so many weapons.
Jermichael Finley will get lost some weeks.
Alex Green is a good guy to keep on your fantasy radars.
Packers Defense appears easy to move the ball against..again.


Brandon Marshall is happy to be back with Cutler. Same with his fantasy owners, same with Cutler.
Michael Bush will steal all of Matt Forte’s goal line TDs.
Bears D is only getting older, but still solid.


Kevin Smith still has ankles made of glass.  Mikel Leshoure will be a threat this season.
Calvin Johnson is on the cover of Madden.
Matt Stafford will be throwing a lot of passes.
Brandon Pettigrew and Titus Young will become better fantasy players this year.
Lions defense will shut down the run.


JacQuizz Rodgers will replace Michael Turner this season.
Roddy White and Julio Jones will both be top 10 WRs.
Matt Ryan will reach the next level of Fantasy QBs.
Falcons defense is more than beatable.


Cam Newton will continue to progress forward.
Greg Olsen has serious potential.
The Panther RB situation is one to avoid.
Brandon LaFell has great sleeper potential.
Panthers have a sleeper defense.


Doug Martin has replaced LeGarrette Blount entirely.
Josh Freeman has some accuracy issues. Should be fine.
Vincent Jackson could be consistent this season. Never was in SD.
TB Defense is good until they break down with injuries.


Drew Brees will be putting up points.
Saints Defense will be giving up points.
RB situation is one to avoid.
Lance Moore should emerge as the Wes Welker for the Saints.


Cardinals still do not have a QB.  This is bad for Fitzgerald.
Beanie Wells does not have the RB job completely to himself..
But he can earn that away from Ryan Williams.
Cardinals defense will live and die with Adrian Wilson.


Frank Gore has way too much competition. I would avoid as he has bust written all over him.
Vernon Davis should find more room to operate with Manningham and Randy Moss on the squad.
49ers have the best defense in the NFL.


Russell Wilson will make the Seahawks offense relevant.
Marshawn Lynch can easily build off of his career year.
Sidney Rice has no competition as the #1 WR in this offense.
Seahawks have a HUGE secondary.


Sam Bradford looks to be in good form. Problem is he has no great WRs.
Steven Jackson is in great shape, Jeff Fisher will run him into the ground.
Danny Amendola is currently the #1 WR for the Rams. Brian Quick will end up with the role.
Rams have the worst defense in the NFL.

Muntradamus is a Fantasy Sports Expert who specializes in Fantasy Football/Baseball/Basketball. He is currently in his first season as a Pro on FantasyPros where he is the only expert to have Adam Dunn, Mike Aviles, and Wilin Rosario in his top 20 at each position. Muntradamus not only leads many to championships with his great advice, and outlooks into the future. He is also consistently on the top of leaderboards in DraftStreet.


  1. Hey Bro can you rate my team please?

    Drew Brees, NO QB
    15 DeMarco Murray, Dal RB
    26 Brandon Marshall, Chi WR
    35 Matt Ryan, Atl QB
    46 Antonio Gates, SD TE
    55 Percy Harvin, Min WR
    66 Beanie Wells, Ari RB
    75 Pierre Garcon, Wsh WR
    86 Cedric Benson, GB RB
    95 Andrew Luck, Ind QB
    106 Brandon Pettigrew, Det TE
    115 Jahvid Best*, Det RB
    126 Danny Amendola, StL WR
    135 Brandon Bolden, NE RB
    146 Giants D/ST D/ST
    155 Matt Bryant, Atl K

  2. Only if you don’t refer to me as bro for the rest of the season ;)

    QB ELITE. Ryan you did not have to reach for unless this was a 2 QB league. Luck as a 3rd QB was a lot.

    RB Semi-weak for your #2 spot. Besides Beanie and Benson, you will be gasping for air until waiver wire guy emerges.

    WR Strong. Amendola at #4 is solid.


    K Got your guy


    I would make a trade with Luck to get JacQuizz Rodgers. See if you get “Luck”y. Great team besides lack of depth at RB 2

  3. LOL Sorry Muntradamus,

    No more bro talk..

    Yes its a two QB league.. dropped Best for Ryan Williams today. I will try to get my hands on JacQuizz Rodgers. Thanks so much for the advice :)

    I didn’t use anything else other than your cheat sheet. Your website rocks!
    This is my first time doing fantasy football ever. It is very exciting. Thank you for your timely replies on both your site, and Twitter. You really are number 1 when it comes to Fantasy Football!

  4. Ok for some reason J Rodgers was still available in the waiver wire. I dropped Bolden for him. Thanks so much for your advice!

  5. Hey Munt, you were a great help to me in fantasy basketball last season, hoping you can look my roster over and give some feedback. I drafted 10th in a 10 team .5PPR league, so lost any shot at an elite QB. Same w/ TE, wondering if you think Celek’s going to be serviceable or if I should hedge bets by replacing one of the RBs with a high upside TE like Rudolph: Also thinking about picking up Wilson or Locker as a 3rd QB b/c the Rivers/Cutler duo makes me a little nervous. Thanks for the help!

    QB Rivers
    QB Cutler
    RB Forte
    RB Charles
    RB D.Martin
    RB McGahee
    RB Jennings
    RB K.Smith
    WR Megatron
    WR B, Marshall
    WR Decker
    WR A, Brown
    TE Celek
    K Prater
    D NY Jets

  6. How’s my team matt ryan.chris johnson.jamaal charles.doug martin.victor cruz.percy harvin.greg olson.matt bryant.packers d.reggie wayne.kenny britt.peyton hillis.gehart.r jennings.

  7. Hey Jeff glad to see you back in the Dome For Football.

    Your team is strong and has a lot of depth.

    QB two guys that will be good.

    RB you run 4 deep.

    You can cut Jennings now.

    WR you run 4 Deep.

    TE/K/D all works.

    I would drop Jennings and add Locker. Locker could actually be your starting QB Week 1 against the Patriots. Check out the Rankings here.

  8. Marc you have a solid team.

    You have good depth and great playmakers.

    I would drop Jennings for a better player now that MJD is back. You can stream a defense with that slot, as it appears you do not need anything else.

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